I recently bought a car. Scary, I know. I haven’t ever driven in Boston, so I have no idea where I’m going. I hate, hate, hate being lost (metaphorically or literally), so a GPS was a no-brainer. I named the GPS Tina and she is quite helpful and simultaneously rude. I mean, the tone of her voice is quite condescending at times and I swear I can hear her roll her eyes at me just by the tone of her voice when she says “recalculating” for the sixth time.
I haven’t quite figured out how to get very basic places yet. My office, for example. I can’t get from my home to the office without a GPS. I’m a kinesthetic learner-I learn by doing. And I can do the same wrong thing a hundred and fifty different ways, but the one time I do something the right way, I “get it” and it sticks. I haven’t quite “gotten it” in regards to getting to work without having to hear the dreaded “recalculating” scoff from Tina The GPS.
It is very often the case that I’m right on track and I’m very close to where I need to be, but then something, perhaps veering to the right or missing the turn in the roundabout (Dear Massachusetts. I feel like I’ve missed a lot of turns in my life and it got me very philosophical and thinking about all the times in my life I’ve been lost, like when I got divorced, when I discovered that it’s possible to have female friends if you try hard enough, when I realized that I needed to make peace with my mother and myself. Most recently, the drive to and from New Jersey has been an epic adventure, but it’s not so scary because no matter how lost I get, I know I’ll be okay with something to guide me back to where I need to be. Literally and metaphorically. Even when changes are good, they can feel scary and it’s helpful to have people by your side in case you get lost and need to recalculate. When you’re alone and lost, you feel lost. But when you’re with someone else and get lost, it’s an adventure.
Thank you for going on an adventure with me.